So, what is the answer - or maybe there just isn't one. Any others out there feel they'd have a relevant comment or view.
Can you really make love happen? A relationship maybe? I once read on the back of Al Stewart's album Orange something like ... 'Sadly, we cannot choose who we fall in love with'. What do you think?
Friday 21 August 2009
How long ...has this been going on
Today I was speaking to someone who is divorced from his wife of 25 years, and has been for nearly 10 years. He has since, quite recently, married another woman - who he loves. During the course of our conversation it was obvious he still felt very bitter about his ex - the mother of his now adult children. They don't have even an affable relationship; just tolerating each other on occasions when they are 'forced' to meet (eg. graduation ceremony). I questioned how this could be, after all this time - why? What do you think ...
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I have been divorced for 15 years and still feel uncomfortable in my ex husbands presence. Could it be that his behaviour became appalling when he met his new wife? For example, after leaving us he returned when I took the children on holiday and took most of our belongings (including the childrens musical instruments)The children were devastated and still find it hard to forgive though they maintain a good relationship with him. He was disloyal, dishonest and left us with little. Out of character for the man I married. I was so embarrassed by his behaviour and lack of thought and sensitivity for his family that I couldn't tell most people what he had done. From the outside most people would think I was being rather petty in not wanting to be in his presence - however, I would not choose friends or even aquaintances whose behaviour was as bad as his. Just be cautious when wondering why former couples are distant - there may be hidden horrors.
ReplyDeleteOh, I am sure there are hidden horrors for many - a horror worse than being hurt by the simple act of contact, because there is still love there!
ReplyDeleteThe last comment gives insight and is an example of how people can apparently 'turn into someone else'. Could it be this is sometimes the influence of a new partner? (love is blind, head been turned, under his/her spell, and all that?)
Could it be that once a legal representative becomes involved, things can change - become 'nastier' and maybe more materially/financially focussed. Who thinks what of the legal profession, when it comes to relationship breakdown?
It's hard to avoid contact with an ex when you have children. Mine moved away and as the years have passed I've had to see him less and less which is a blessing. It was hard for both of us in the early days as there was such bitterness between us. I've managed to overcome my feelings, but sadly he now picks on my daughter as a way of getting to me. Its been over 20 years - when will it end?!
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